I have to put a preface on this blog: I am writing this mostly for my own benefit. I realize that there are people out there who are WAY better or more knowledgeable at this stuff than me. I'm only recently figuring it out so I'm solidifying it in my own mind by blogging it.
Background: Trying to play with my children has been, up until recently, very difficult for me. It just seemed like our toys were boring..I was bored of them and so were my girls. They had mastered things like shape sorters and puzzles, and I couldn't stand having the princesses go to the ball and dance more than 10 times a day; although if you ask Kiera what she wants to do that is exactly what she'll say.
I'm embarrassed to say that I learned how to play with my children by reading a book. There's a book called
Playful parenting: a bold new way to nurture close connections, solve behavior problems, and encourage children's confidence by Lawrence J. Cohen. (by the way I highly recommend it). I'm going to list a few things that I've learned from this book. I feel like what I've learned from this book will create 100x more fun than $100 worth of the latest and greatest toys. This is geared towards the 2-3 year-old child (since that is where Kiera is at) but the book has PLENTY of good info for older children too.
1.The best way to help your child to be confidence is to lose a little dignity yourself. Pretend to not be very good at something and ask them to show you how it is done (put pants on your arms), fall off your chair multiple times and let them laugh at you. For those of you who watch Sesame Street--think Mr. Noodle.
2. Play pretend and let the child be a dominant role and you act out some of the problems they might have (they are the nurse giving the shot and you are crying and begging not to have to get it).
3. When you play the part of the bad guy or monster be a little scary and a lot incompetent (the villain who keeps tripping or who brought a bubble gun instead of a real gun).
4. Give a child a toy that can be used for multiple purposes (like a box). Princesses have a very limited purpose
5. Hours of half-hearted interaction with children are not nearly as good as short spurts of fun play. Set aside 10 minutes twice a day for "special time" and do everything you can to help your child/children laugh and have fun in that 10 minutes. Afterwords they will be much happier and less needy/clingy.
6. WRESTLE with your children (including girls--it builds confidence). By this I mean play games of power and USUALLY let them win. Examples:
*pillow fights-- "I'll bet you can hit my tummy with this pillow before I hit yours!"
*Try to hold your child and have them try to get away, "You'll never get away from me!"
*Have them try to get past you. Boast about how they'll never get by you and then act surprised when they achieve it.
*Give them clues like spread your legs far apart so that they can go under, stoop low so that they can go over you. Act astonished every time. Help them learn how to trick you "look over there-- an elephant!"
*Don't tickle them. They feel out of control and many times don't like it. Instead, just poke them and back off until they stop laughing or you can just
threaten to tickle.
*Arm wrestle-- let them use one finger and win.
*after losing a wrestling match, end the game by admitting your loss. “I’m so tired you’ll have to carry me to the couch!” “oh man, I lost! I’m going to sulk all day!”
7. Boys need games of "connection":
*Play "love gun"-- while they are playing war suddenly declare that they shot you with a love gun and now you love them more than anything (and then act that out)
*Use any excuse to be emotionally close, “ouch that must hurt”
*Fall over dead on top of them,
*Hide behind them if there is an enemy nearby,
*Play a game of faithful army buddy who saves his injured friend.
8. Think of what your child is having trouble with (potty training, crying when being dropped off at nursery, fear of bees, etc) and play games related to those problems: pretend dolls have potty training accidents, act out going to nursery--only YOU are being dropped off by your child. Play the game a few times and have your reaction to nursery be different every time but the child comforts you in all situations. (This can also be played with dolls, princess or superheros for that matter)
9. Have your child pretend to be a bee and you be scared to death of being stung. Then YOU be the bee and try to get your child (be an incompetent bee: run in to walls or pretend you forgot your stinger).
And now, some game/fun ideas:*Make silly rules: no giggling, blinking, etc.. Fuss when a rule is broken.
*For 10 mins let your child make all of the rules and punishments.
*Pretend something they are already eating is yours and pretend to be mad each time they take a bite.
*Sock game- everyone wears socks and has to crawl on the floor and try to get everyone Else's socks off.
*Thumb wars, arm wrestle, leg wrestle
*Play school. Have them teach stuffed animals things you want them to learn: teach the doll about crossing the street.
*When pushing them on the swing pretend that the swing knocks you down or they kick you. "you'd better not do that again!"
*Let your child pretend to put YOU in a time-out.
.....this blog could go on and on, but I'll stop there. The main point:
The most fun to be had with your children involves no toys whatsoever. Feel free to add your own 2 cents on the subject.
