I think we as LDS mothers of young children have a problem of trying to out-do each other. We try to pretend that our lives a beautiful and clean all of the time. We've all done it: when someone is coming over for a play day we clean our house perfectly and pretend like our houses are always in perfect order.
The truth of the matter is, there are only so many hours in a day. If you are choosing to do some things with your time it means you are making cuts elsewhere. You can't exercise for an hour, make 100% homemade food, do 30 minutes of scripture study, write in your journal, spend an hour of 1 on 1 time with each child...etc.
Yes, I can have people over for dinner and have my hair done, my make-up on, my house perfectly clean, and a delicious home-cooked meal, but just think about where I had to make cuts: most likely to my quality time with my children since that is where it doesn't show publicly as much.
This week I was talking to a friend who has a teenager, a special needs daughter, a newly adopted daughter, a toddler, and a newborn. She told me of the troubles of trying to take care of such a huge arrange of psychological needs. I have a deep respect for this friend since she is very well educated and could have done anything with her life. At this point and in this stage however, she tells me that she doesn't bother with her hair or makeup except for on Sundays. The house is a mess most of the time, but she just has higher priorities. That fact that she prioritizes her children over other things shows strongly in her family.
Does that mean that I think we should never do our hair or make-up again? No, but maybe focusing less on how we and our homes appear to others and more on our relationships with our family and children would make us better people.
There will be a time in my life when I can have a clutter-free house. But now is not that time.
6 comments:
Right on! I never do my makeup or hair any more. Not even on Sunday. I've accepted the fact my face scares children and small dogs. As you can see on our blog I was frustrated with our last family dinner because I was busy setting up chairs & BBQing food & helping in the kitchen when my grandkids were around needing to be played with.
Thanks for the reminder of what is truly important. It is easy to get caught up in the details that really aren't.
Amen to this and your post about non-scheduled and non-productive time. It isn't an excuse it is a choice.
I'm assuming "Gramps" is your dad. He just cracks me up! I love his comments. Thanks for all you did for the R.S. activity. You're a great example of someone who truly serves others.
So true, Cambrie. I love your posts like this for the normal, everyday mom. I don't know why we as moms try to impress each other. Seriously! Why do we do that? Of all people, we should understand each other and support each other!
I think the pressure we have as moms is enough without the added pressure we give to ourselves to "measure up" to everyone else's expectations. If we'd all just relax a bit and not be so judgmental or paranoid, I think we'd be more confident and realize that we are doing great just the way we are. And that we're NORMAL! :)
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